October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
March 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2011
November 2011
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
March 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2011
November 2011
Bituwin -
template
Dementee -
image
Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
Hit counter code here
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving
I know this is the time of year where I'm supposed to realize all of the good things in my life and be thankful for that. But sometimes it's really hard to be thankful for things.
I don't know if anyone has noticed this or anything, but I've a very reserved person. I only let out a fraction of what's going on in my life. Yes, usually there's nothing of interest to me. Or things I don't think people should know about me.
School right now is okay. Most of my classes I understand. I don't understand accounting at all. I actually really enjoy my teacher. She's actually really really nice, but I just don't understand accounting. At all. I've tried. Really I have. And help isn't working. So I'm retaking it again next semester, with the same teacher.
My family is.... normal. Well not normal for other families, but normal for me. My entire family has anger management problems. My mom goes off on the littlest things and starts crying about it when she doesn't get her way. My dad argues with her and tells her to "shut the fuck up." I remember when I was younger I wish they'd get a divorce. I hated coming home, or being home.
The fighting stopped after awhile, but it's back again. My mom dropped her laptop and lost her entire paper for a class she's taking for her job. And then she yells at me for it. "I spent four hours on that stupid thing!" and I ask her "Why are you yelling at me?" and she always replies with "Because you could care less that I have to redo papers over and over and over. You don't do a cotton-picking thing ever!"
Then with that she goes "You can wake up every morning at 6AM and feed the animals!" I'm like every morning when I wake up I take them out and feed them. While she continues to yell at me. She yells at me all the time, and I just take it. I just sit here and just stay quiet. And then I go to work, and they yell at me. "Why aren't your numbers higher? Are you talking to people over there? Felicia I know you, you can do better than this." And then sometimes I'll come home with everyone else yelling at me and I'll get online and other people yell at me. Or sometimes it just feels like they are.
I would open up to people and tell them everything, but I don't want to seem weak or like a baby. Yes I know I'm going to deal with bitchy customers, and I know my managers are going to be asses at times. I really do deal with it. I take everything into stride and just bottle it up.
Sometimes what I want is just someone I can be like "this is what happened to me today.....again." and not worry whether they are going to yell at me and tell me to grow up. I don't want advice on how to deal with people yelling at me. Yes I get upset people are yelling at me, but I deal with it very well. When my managers yell at me I am just thinking "They just want my numbers to be better. They know I'm capable of better sales." Sometimes I'm thinking "No one wants to buy anything! I'm REALLY trying."
When my parents yell at me, for the most part, I don't yell back. I just kind of roll my eyes internally and just let them rant and rave all they want. I also pet my dog cause he calms me down alot.
Fighting with my parents doesn't hurt me at all. I don't know why, but it doesn't.
But when I fight with a friend, and like a really really close friend, you can bet I'll be thinking about it until they aren't mad at me anymore and then some. It hurts me sooooo much to fight with a friend.
I'm pretty stubborn, but only when it comes to certain things.
Okay, so now onto my weekend.
Friday
Went and saw Twilight with Aaron and Chelsea. Aaron decided at 12PM that day he was going to go buy himself a car with his student refund check. I was like.. "umm.. not today cause the movie starts at 6:20." but of course... he and my dad drug me all over Fort Wayne to look at cars. I was NOT happy. Then we get home and get some money to go eat. We went and picked up chelsea and me trying to be nice talked to her the entire night..
Which pissed off aaron. and he went insane.
I don't know if anyone has noticed this or anything, but I've a very reserved person. I only let out a fraction of what's going on in my life. Yes, usually there's nothing of interest to me. Or things I don't think people should know about me.
School right now is okay. Most of my classes I understand. I don't understand accounting at all. I actually really enjoy my teacher. She's actually really really nice, but I just don't understand accounting. At all. I've tried. Really I have. And help isn't working. So I'm retaking it again next semester, with the same teacher.
My family is.... normal. Well not normal for other families, but normal for me. My entire family has anger management problems. My mom goes off on the littlest things and starts crying about it when she doesn't get her way. My dad argues with her and tells her to "shut the fuck up." I remember when I was younger I wish they'd get a divorce. I hated coming home, or being home.
The fighting stopped after awhile, but it's back again. My mom dropped her laptop and lost her entire paper for a class she's taking for her job. And then she yells at me for it. "I spent four hours on that stupid thing!" and I ask her "Why are you yelling at me?" and she always replies with "Because you could care less that I have to redo papers over and over and over. You don't do a cotton-picking thing ever!"
Then with that she goes "You can wake up every morning at 6AM and feed the animals!" I'm like every morning when I wake up I take them out and feed them. While she continues to yell at me. She yells at me all the time, and I just take it. I just sit here and just stay quiet. And then I go to work, and they yell at me. "Why aren't your numbers higher? Are you talking to people over there? Felicia I know you, you can do better than this." And then sometimes I'll come home with everyone else yelling at me and I'll get online and other people yell at me. Or sometimes it just feels like they are.
I would open up to people and tell them everything, but I don't want to seem weak or like a baby. Yes I know I'm going to deal with bitchy customers, and I know my managers are going to be asses at times. I really do deal with it. I take everything into stride and just bottle it up.
Sometimes what I want is just someone I can be like "this is what happened to me today.....again." and not worry whether they are going to yell at me and tell me to grow up. I don't want advice on how to deal with people yelling at me. Yes I get upset people are yelling at me, but I deal with it very well. When my managers yell at me I am just thinking "They just want my numbers to be better. They know I'm capable of better sales." Sometimes I'm thinking "No one wants to buy anything! I'm REALLY trying."
When my parents yell at me, for the most part, I don't yell back. I just kind of roll my eyes internally and just let them rant and rave all they want. I also pet my dog cause he calms me down alot.
Fighting with my parents doesn't hurt me at all. I don't know why, but it doesn't.
But when I fight with a friend, and like a really really close friend, you can bet I'll be thinking about it until they aren't mad at me anymore and then some. It hurts me sooooo much to fight with a friend.
I'm pretty stubborn, but only when it comes to certain things.
Okay, so now onto my weekend.
Friday
Went and saw Twilight with Aaron and Chelsea. Aaron decided at 12PM that day he was going to go buy himself a car with his student refund check. I was like.. "umm.. not today cause the movie starts at 6:20." but of course... he and my dad drug me all over Fort Wayne to look at cars. I was NOT happy. Then we get home and get some money to go eat. We went and picked up chelsea and me trying to be nice talked to her the entire night..
Which pissed off aaron. and he went insane.